Chicken bones are evil

Friends,

I have a public service announcement today.  Stay away from chicken bones. 

This weekend they made me very sick.  They tasted so good and I felt truly lucky to have found them out on the trail.  But the consequences were bad. 

All of a sudden my stomach felt like it was in a knot and my whole body started to convulse like I had an alien inside of me.

My mom had to wake up my dad to come pick us up ’cause I couldn’t move.  We were in the car for a while and I kept throwing up until finally one of the bones came out and I started to feel better.  We went to a new place, it smelled just like that place where the nice doctors give me treats and love, but it was different.  There were lots of dogs that were very sick.  One threw up right in front of me.

First I had to go lie on a table where bright lights flickered beneath me.  A little while later the important people fed me stuff that made me feel sick again (wtf?!?!).  But before I knew it, I threw up another bone and suddenly I felt amazing.  People started to look fuzzy, fading in and out, and I had visions of being in a room full of squirrels.  That was an awesome feeling. 

I slept the whole day and when I woke up, my parents fed me food that tasted like nothing.  I was starving so I ate the whole thing but it tasted like my brother, Beethoven’s food.  Yuck!

So, the lesson I am giving you is when you see a chicken bone (yep, even if there is still lots of meat on it), stay away.  It just ain’t worth it.